Some words of advice for John Mayer


Recently, John Mayer ran into a little bit of trouble over his recent Playboy interview. So, in the interest of public service, I'd like to offer the troubled troubador some valuable advice:

John,

Sorry about your recent Playboy hassles. However, I think I know how to avoid such verbal missteps in the future. And it all can be summed up in one sentence.

This single sentence is the key. Write it down. Memorize it. Make it your personal mantra. And if you ever get the urge to utter something you think is provocative or witty, keep this one sentence in the back of your mind:

I am not Chris Rock.

Those five little words will keep you out of a heap of trouble, my friend. I read some excerpts from your interview, and it sounded like you were trying really hard to sound like Chris Rock.

Don't.

Chris Rock is one of the funniest men alive. He is a professional comedian. He has spent at least 20 years paying his dues and honing his craft. He has learned what works and what doesn't.

You, sir, are no Chris Rock.

Not only is Rock extremely funny and clever, he is also one other thing that you are not: Black.

That means he has considerably more leeway in the dropping of the "N-bomb" than someone like you or I could ever dream of having. And rightfully so.

You don't see Chris Rock strapping on an accoustic guitar and trying to be a sensitive lite-rock crooner, do you? Of course not. So follow his example.

And remember these words:

I am not Chris Rock.

Live by them.

And by the way, that "Fathers be good to your daughters" song? Sucks.

Sincerely,

Notintheface