For this special prize fight round of Friday Night Fights: "Boogaloo Dance"
, our host Spacebooger
has given us one very special
rule: Every entry must be a fight scene featuring a fight with some kind of dance or dance moves
. Some of the other fights tonight may feature fast-paced disco or jitterbug moves, I'm slowing down the tempo with tonight's bit of waltzing warfare
from one of the most memorable (and, in retrospect, one of the creepiest) Superboy
stories of my childhood, a story from 1977's DC Super Stars#12
called "Don't Call Me Superboy!"
written by Cary Bates
and illustrated by Curt Swan
and Murphy Anderson
Synopsis: Clark Kent
has a crush on a cute new girl named Misty
at Smallville High
and has asked Lana Lang
to pass her his note proclaiming his interest. Lana thinks Clark doesn't have a chance in hell with Misty, but to her (and Clark's) surprise.....
And who else shows up but the Super-Teacher From Krypton
, a robot from Kal-El's
home planet whom his father Jor-El
programmed to test his son's mastery of his powers? After testing Clark's worthiness to be Superboy when he was twelve, the robot has come back as Clark is turning eighteen to test his worthiness to be Superman
and is even willing to resort to some extremely inappropriate and creepy methods
(we'll get to that later) to do so.
Also, anyone notice something strange
about the above fight?
Well, Clark does.
Technically this fight does include some kind of dance move: Clark was actually waltzing with Misty for the entire duration of his imagined super-brawl.
In keeping with the above motif, tonight's fight music is this classic by Johnny Rivers which came out the very same year as tonight's comic.
Bonus: Remember how I said this was one of the creepiest Superboy stories of all time?
After the dance, Clark takes Misty back to her house, where she shares with him the fact that she's figured out his secret identity. Fireworks ensue.
But wait, here's the absolute next panel.
Ok, those above three panels by themselves aren't what makes this story creepy. It's the fact that they're combined with THIS:
Oh, Cary Bates!
Uhhhh, I'm thinking maybe Jor-El should've spent just a little more time programming the concept of "consent" into his robot's databanks. Just sayin'.
For more dancing duels
, click here
. And don't forget to vote