Friday, January 23, 2015

Friday Night Fights: Thunder - Round 1: Calculate This!

Welcome to the first round of our host Spacebooger's latest bout, Friday Night Fights: Thunder. Tonight's round of mathematical mayhem comes from the backup story in Detective Comics#463, written by Bob Rozakis and drawn by Mike Grell and Terry Austin, which features the debut of the Calculator. Before he went on to become Oracle's evil counterpart, ol' Calc used to dress up like this:

His M.O. was to steal things on the day they would be worth the most valuable. Here, he attempts to steal the life of Ray Palmer's old friend Professor Richard Bagley on the day he's announcing his greatest invention, the Quake-Breaker, a device designed to channel the power of earthquakes for constructive use. This leads to a showdown with the Atom. Unfortunately, in the course of the battle, Bagley is swallowed up by a chasm caused by the sudden appearance of a freak earthquake and dies, thereby making Calculator's theft a success.

Needless to say, the World's Smallest Superhero is PISSED.

Our button-pushing Big Bad would go on to face Black Canary, Elongated Man, Green Arrow, Hawkman, and finally Batman throughout the course of this six-issue arc. After being defeated by each Justice Leaguer, he would push a special button which would "inoculate" him against being defeated by that same foe ever again. Because....magic science, I guess? (Rozakis could match his fellow Bobs Kanigher and Haney in Bronze Age wackiness and then some.) Anyway, other than the bad fashion sense,  I never got why this period Calculator was thought of as lame in the more modern stories, because his abilities here were pretty baller.

For tonight's fight music, since I've already used Kraftwerk in the past, I'm going with this "number" by Regina Spektor.

For more computation craziness, click here. And don't forget to vote!

Friday, January 16, 2015

Friday Night Fights: Phantom Punch - Prize Fight: Phantom Fist!

Welcome to tonight's special Friday Night Fights: Phantom Punch Prize Fight. Our host Spacebooger has one special rule: The fight should feature an unseen assailant.

Fortunately, I have something that fits the bill: A specual jungle jam-up from Namor: The Sub Mariner#15 by John Byrne. Synopsis: Namor discovers a mysterious disease has been making the citizens of his home city of Atlantis sick. He tracks the source of the problem back to the Savage Land and goes there to investigate himself. Unfortunately for our Sub Mariner, he is being stalked by an unseen threat. 

And now the mysterious stalker's fist starts glowing. Could he be....?

And Namor is down for the count! But who is his unseen assailant?

Could it be.....

Iron Fist?

(Well, yes and no, actually. He has the appearance of Iron Fist, but he's actually a disguised Super Skrull.)

Tonight's fight music is by Coheed and Cambria.

For more undetected attacks, click here. And don't forget to vote!

Friday, January 02, 2015

Friday Night Fights: Ghost - Round 12: Martial Arts Schooling!

For the final round of Friday Night Fights: Ghost, I offer special piece of advice:

When Black Canary comes into your martial arts studio and says she knows judo?

Believe her!

Denny O'Neil and Alex Toth deliver this and other sage advice in Adventure Comics#418.

Tonight's fight music is a special bird song by Annie Lennox (remixed by Utah Saints).

For more special advice, click here. And don't forget to vote!

Friday, December 19, 2014

Friday Night Fights: Ghost - Round 10: (Giant) Snakes On A Plane!

For tonight's round of Friday Night Fights: Ghost, I'm going to demonstrate, with the help of Travis Morgan aka The Warlord, how pilot training can come in handy in very unusual ways, courtesy of Warlord#3 by Mike Grell.

Synopsis: While trying to capture an elusive unicorn, Travis Morgan is ambushed by a tribe of Lizard Men who have been worshiping Morgan's crashed plane as their war god. (No, really.) The Lizard Men plan to kill him as a sacrifice to their new "deity" to make them invincible in war. This killing is then interrupted by the rise of their old god. Who just happens to be a giant golden snake. Luckily, Morgan's lieutenant Machiste comes to his rescue.

To prevent Machiste from becoming Purina Giant Snake God Chow, the Warlord scrambles through the plane looking for his survival kit. 

He finds the kit -- and the gun inside, and emerges from the cockpit ready to go all Samuel L. Jackson on this giant snake's @$$.....

.....but unfortunately for him.....

Since the guns aren't doing much more than annoying the giant beast, Morgan decides to try using a different weapon.

You've seen Friday Night Fighters win by the seat of their pants before, but I bet you've never seen one win by the seat of their plane.

Tonight's fight music is this aereonautic aria by Shiny Toy Guns.

For more premature ejections, click here. And don't forget to vote!

Friday, December 12, 2014

Friday Night Fights : Ghost - Round 8 - Firefall!

For tonight's round of Friday Night Fights: Ghost, I'll be taking you back to the time when Rom: Spaceknight fought Firefall.

No, not that Firefall.

THIS Firefall. (Courtesy of ROM#4 by Bill Mantlo and Sal Buscema.)

Instead of a late 70's country rock band, the Firefall in this armored embroglio is actually a crook named Archie Stryker whom Rom's enemies, the Dire Wraiths, manipulated into letting them graft his nerve endings to a suit of Spaceknight armor formerly worn by Rom's fellow Galadorian and best friend Karas. Archie has donned the Firefall armor to punish Rom for what he thought was the cold-blooded murder of his fellow humans (but what was actually Rom banishing disguised Wraiths to Limbo).

And that's the least of Archie's problems. You see, what the Wraiths neglected to tell him was that he wasn't just wearing the Galadorian armor, it was being grafted to his nerve endings, which meant he feels every bit of punishment dished out against the suit.

Tonight's fight music is by the band Firefall and the title is a perfect description of poor Archie's fate in this week's Galadorian go-round.

For more Firefall-flavored fracases, click here. And don't forget to vote!

Friday, December 05, 2014

Friday Night Fights: Ghost - Round 8: The 3-Way!

For tonight's round of Friday Night Fights: Ghost,  I'm making things as easy as 1-2-3, courtesy of this sequential showdown in Batman Family#14 by Bob Rozakis, Don Heck, and Bob Wiacek. Synopsis: The duo of Mr. Brain and Doctor Brawn have used a ray called the Convincer on Batwoman that made her fade away and unleashed a deadly plague upon Georgetown. Batgirl and Robin track the villainous duo to a local carnival and confront them. While the Dominoed Daredoll handles Dr. Brawn, the Teen Wonder takes down Mr. Brawn with a unique triple-pronged assault.

Tonight's fight music is this ascendant anthem by Gloria Estefan.

For more triple-fast action, click here. And don't forget to vote!

Friday, November 21, 2014

Friday Night Fights: Ghost - Round 7: Doin' Da (Head) Butt!

For tonight's round of Friday Night Fights: Ghost, I'm using Smallville: Lantern#11 by Bryan Q. Miller, Ig Guara, and JP Mayer.

Synopsis: Prometheus is breaking into Ft. Knox.

Earlier, he had killed a group of DEO agents and wounded both Agent Cameron Chase and Green Arrow. Now Ollie is recovered and looking for revenge.

And he's come dressed for the occasion.

That was way better than the end of Justice League: Cry For Justice. Prometheus was definitely the "butt" of Ollie's joke here. And with that, here's tonight's fight music.

For more headbutting headaches, click here. And don't forget to vote!