Sunday, May 02, 2010

Public Announcements - The "Operation: Piss Off Half Our Audience" Edition

*ATTENTION, WARNER BROTHERS EXECUTIVES!* - Kudos on your decision to expand the wildly successful "Operation: Piss Off Half Our Audience" directive to include your animated movie division as well. What a stroke of genius! Why bother trying to reach a tiny, insignificant niche group like FIFTY-TWO PERCENT OF THE POPULATION, anyway?

*ATTENTION, JOE QUESADA!* - Yes, Joe. The Spider-Marriage is gone. You won. WE GET IT!! Now stop gloating! Nobody likes a poor winner.


"Claws" does not rhyme with "roars"!

And "Donna Troy, Mikaal Tomas Starman, and Congorilla" does not rhyme with "interesting Justice League lineup", Batman or no Batman.

*ATTENTION, CONSERVATIVES IN CONGRESS!* - Any credibility you had complaining that Obama's pick will be too activist or too radical were completely destroyed the moment your boy John Roberts and his crew decided to undo 30 years of campaign reform by declaring that corporations have the same rights as people. It doesn't get more radical than that.

*ATTENTION, ARIZONA LEGISLATURE!* - I'm glad you've conquered all the other crimes like murder, rape, and robbery, because this new anti-immigration law is going to cut police man-hours for all of them. For some cops, it will be a hall pass to harrass Hispanics. For the rest, it will be an enormous hindrance, particularly in their relationships with the Hispanic community. Expect them to hear "I ain't telling you shit!" on a regular basis. Plus, it's going to cost you at least two tourists: me and my wife. She's half Hispanic, you see, and I don't want to see her get hassled just because she forgets her "papers" during a walk to the grocery store.

*ATTENTION, TEA PARTY PROTESTERS!* - So you're angry at the thought of excessive government intrusion and erosion of our rights? Well, march over to Arizona and make some noise about the new immigration law. It should be tailor-made for you.

*ATTENTION, GREG RUCKA FANS!* - There's a Greg Rucka-written lesbian heroine who is in danger of being shunted off to comics limbo after Greg departs from DC Comics, but she doesn't have a bat plastered on her chest. She's Renee Montoya aka the Question. Even I had forgotten how joined at the hip Renee and Rucka had become over the years, before this article reminded me. So don't forget about Renee just because she doesn't wear a cowl and a bat-symbol.


At 1:03 PM , Blogger SallyP said...

Feeling a little cranky, are we?

Me too.

At 8:12 PM , Blogger notintheface said...

No, "cranky" would be reviewing "Brightest Day" and saying it should have been called "Brightest Day: Fu..

Oh, wait.


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