Friday, December 21, 2012

Friday Night Fights: Double M - Round 11: Ho, Ho, The Mistletoe!

Welcome to a special Christmas edition of Friday Night Fights: Double M! Tonight's holiday hullabaloo comes to us from 1958's Archie's Christmas Stocking#5.

Synopsis: Archie and Moose witness Reggie kissing Veronica in broad daylight. When Moose is confused at why Archie is strangely calm about this, Archie explains that Veronica is under a Mistletoe and (just roll with this) any girl standing under the Mistletoe is open to be kissed by any guy and not even she or her boyfriend can object.

(I DID mention that this story takes place in 1958, right?)

Worse, Archie explains this to Moose using the WORST PHRASING IMAGINABLE.


Uhhhh.....let's just move on, shall we?

So Archie and Reggie have a little fun with Moose by explaining that if he objects, Santa Claus will leave him nothing but coal for Christmas.  

Of course, Reggie, being Reggie, has to naturally take things one step further.

But because Reggie reminds him of the Mistletoe tradition, Moose lets it slide.

However, Reggie, despite warnings from Archie, just can't resist pushing the envelope again....

....and again......

.....and AGAIN!

Unfortunately for Mr. Mantle, though, Jughead, still bitter over the theft of his parsley, decides to set Moose straight.

Jeez, a little bloodthirsty there, aren't you, Jugs? Remind me to never steal that guy's garnishes.

So Moose doesn't want to fight. What can he do?

Answer: This....

Apparently, the only thing Jughead loves more than hamburgers is schadenfreude.

Now it's time to enjoy some festive fight music from Burl Ives.

For more seasonal scuffles, click here. And don't forget to vote!