Friday, September 26, 2014

FNF Presents: "Boogaloo's Dance" - Prize Fight: Dancing The Robot!

For this special prize fight round of Friday Night Fights: "Boogaloo Dance", our host Spacebooger has given us one very special rule: Every entry must be a fight scene featuring a fight with some kind of dance or dance moves. Some of the other fights tonight may feature fast-paced disco or jitterbug moves, I'm slowing down the tempo with tonight's bit of waltzing warfare from one of the most memorable (and, in retrospect, one of the creepiest) Superboy stories of my childhood, a story from 1977's DC Super Stars#12 called "Don't Call Me Superboy!" written by Cary Bates and illustrated by Curt Swan and Murphy Anderson.

Synopsis: Clark Kent has a crush on a cute new girl named Misty at Smallville High and has asked Lana Lang to pass her his note proclaiming his interest. Lana thinks Clark doesn't have a chance in hell with Misty, but to her (and Clark's) surprise.....

And who else shows up but the Super-Teacher From Krypton, a robot from Kal-El's home planet whom his father Jor-El programmed to test his son's mastery of his powers? After testing Clark's worthiness to be Superboy when he was twelve, the robot has come back as Clark is turning eighteen to test his worthiness to be Superman and is even willing to resort to some extremely inappropriate and creepy methods (we'll get to that later) to do so.

Also, anyone notice something strange about the above fight?

Well, Clark does.

Technically this fight does include some kind of dance move: Clark was actually waltzing with Misty for the entire duration of his imagined super-brawl.

In keeping with the above motif, tonight's fight music is this classic by Johnny Rivers which came out the very same year as tonight's comic.

Bonus: Remember how I said this was one of the creepiest Superboy stories of all time?

Here's why:

After the dance, Clark takes Misty back to her house, where she shares with him the fact that she's figured out his secret identity. Fireworks ensue.

But wait, here's the absolute next panel.

Ok, those above three panels by themselves aren't what makes this story creepy. It's the fact that they're combined with THIS:




Oh, Cary Bates!

Uhhhh, I'm thinking maybe Jor-El should've spent just a little more time programming the concept of "consent" into his robot's databanks. Just sayin'.

For more dancing duels, click here. And don't forget to vote!

Friday, September 12, 2014

Friday Night Fights: Boogaloo - Round 12: Eye Of The......Oh, You Know!

For the final round of Friday Night Fights: Boogaloo, I wanted to present some classic Marvel kung fu action, but I didn't want to work Snell's side of the street with a Shang Chi post. So instead I'm opting for a classic '70's team from the House Of Ideas, namely the Sons Of The Tiger. Tonight's martial arts mayhem comes from Deadly Hands Of Kung Fu#19, written by Gerry Conway and beautifully illustrated by Dick Giordano. Synopsis: Three martial arts students named Lin Sun, Bob Diamond, and Abe Brown who trained under Master Kee later find that a team of assassins has killed Kee and attempted to kill all of them. They team up, each wearing different tiger amulets that their late master has bequeathed to them, and seek revenge on the assassins. Here's how that works out for them.

Tonight's fight music is....come on, what else would it be?

For more tigerish tussles, click here. And don't forget to vote!

Friday, September 05, 2014

Friday Night Fights: Boogaloo - Round 11: Harbinger Of Doom!

After last week's round of old-school robot-smashing, I thought I'd make this week's round of Friday Night Fights: Boogaloo a little more...cerebral, courtesy of Harbinger#5, written by Joshua Dysart and illustrated by Khari Evans and Matthew Clark. Synopsis: Escaped mental patient Peter Stanchek, an immensely powerful psionic, had taken the offer of an also-immensely-powerful psionic named Toyo Harada to join the Harbinger Foundation, an institute that trains psiots. In exchange for Peter's cooperation, Harada offered to take care of Peter's lifelong junkie friend Joe. Unfortunately, Harada's method for "taking care of" Joe really meant killing him with a forced overdose. Now, after Peter has found out Joe's true fate, he heads back to the foundation to confront Harada and the Foundation students.

Hmmm....a room with a weakened ceiling. Now how can a man with telekinetic powers possibly exploit that?

Well, one way is by....

....bringing the roof down!

Tonight's fight song is this brilliant bit of mental hopscotch by Missing Persons.

For more psychic showdowns, click here. And don't forget to vote!