Screw the Giffen League -- THIS is COMEDY!

Last week I had one of the most unintentionally funny weeks at the comic shop in a long time.

First, if you've been following James Robinson's Cry for Justice mini, you know there was huge dramatic cliffhanger at the end of issue #6 involving the fates of Prometheus and Green Arrow's home, Star City.

However, the outcome of Cry For Justice#7 is presented in flashback and the fates of Prometheus and Star City are revealed in the regular JLA series issue#41.

Which was released this past week.

The same week as Cry For Justice#6.

BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAA!

No, really,I'm not making this up.

Gosh, that'll provide a strong incentive to purchase Cry For Justice#7 when it comes out next month.

NOT!!!

BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAA!

Not only that, but in the Blackest Night books, Ray "The Atom" Palmer, whom Robinson had torturing criminals by walking on their brains in Cry For Justice, and whom J. Michael Straczynski had not caring that the Joker was dying in a recent Brave And The Bold, has been chosen by the Indigo Tribe to represent (*snicker*)....wait for it....COMPASSION!

BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA!

And here I thought that the Giffen/DeMatteis version of the Justice League was the funny one.

(Hee!)

BOP: Look on the bright side: They could've gone with Greg Land!

Looks like 2010 will welcome some old friends back to the DC Universe. Not only will we see the return of "Birds Of Prey", but also the return of a creative team that launched the book to new heights: Gail Simone and Ed Benes.

I've got mixed feelings about this.

It's not on the writing end. As long as she doesn't spread herself too thin, my attitude is the more Simone the merrier. And while lightning doesn't always strike twice when an acclaimed writer returns to his or her old stomping grounds (cough*Claremont*cough), sometimes it does, as John Ostrander fans will attest. And Gail's style is closer to Johnny O's than the 'Mont's.

The mixed feelings come on the art side. While I enjoyed Benes' run on BOP when he and Gail worked together, he's since worn out his welcome with me. He's kind of a poor man's Mike Grell. He draws good-looking heroes and heroines, but as a storyteller let's just say he's one hell of a pin-up artist. His figures are kind of stiff and crude, and his characters' facial expressions run the emotional gamut from A to B (he could take hints from fellow BOP artists Gary Frank and Nicola Scott here).

Worse, he's in love with butt-shots, and not the kind Sally loves. On his BOP work he seemed to rein them in in service to the story, but more recently he's sacrificed story for the sake of the butt-shot, to the point of arrested adolescence. Here's Snell with an example here. I reached my limit with him on a JLA issue when he turned what should have been a double-page spread of the JLA fighting their alternate-world doppelgangers into a double-page pin-up of Wonder Woman and her ass with the JLA and their doppelgangers standing around in the background. If you want to appreciate how bad it was, picture what someone like George Perez, Alan Davis, or Greg LaRocque would have done with the same panel direction.

But look on the bright side: They could've gone with Greg Land.

Land was a great artist on BOP and later on Nightwing. Then he discovered tracing.

I could just picture him on "Birds" now:

* Babs and Misfit would look the same age.

* Both Dinah and Lady Blackhawk would look like that same blonde woman whose image Land uses for practically every blonde female he draws, no matter what age. (Probably a model from whatever porn mag Greggie is into.)

* Certain scenes would look suspiciously like Land's past X-Men or Ultimate Fantastic Four panels.

* Huntress would have a perpetual "O"-face.

* The characters would be dancing.

The horror!

Friday Night Fights: Bad Boys - Round 5: Beware of Darkness!



Round 5 of Friday Night Fights: Bad Boys takes us back to the 30th Century (in DC Universe time) . Tonight's futuristic fracas is from Legion of Super-Heroes#290, "And The Servant Shall Be A Sign", the opening chapter of "The Great Darkness Saga", by Paul Levitz, Keith Giffen and Larry Mahlstaedt. We begin with the Legion investigating a vandalized museum and its' "strange"-looking curator.

And so begins the debut of a "Servant of Darkness".....

...but it's the Legion who ends up getting served.

For more "servings" of villainous victories, click here.

Friday Night Fights: Bad Boys - Round 4: Stop Hitting Yourself!


One of the most effective fighting strategies is to use your opponents' strengths against them. The Spot, tonight's victorious villain in Round 4 of Friday Night Fights: Bad Boys, takes that strategy to a whole new level.


The Spot was a scientist working for the Kingpin who tried to replicate the powers of Cloak from "Cloak and Dagger" fame. As a consequence, he found himself able to create and control portals from the dark dimension. Unfortunately, he also found his body covered with them.


Tonight's dot-filled donnybrook comes to us from Amazing Spider-Man#589, written by Fred Van Lente and illustrated by Paulo Siqueira and Amilton Santos. Here, Spidey attempts to stop the Spot from killing a Russian gangster.


See Spidey punch Spot.

OUCH!

(Inspired by this entry by our host Spacebooger from a few months back.)

Friday Night Fights: Bad Boys - Round 3: Merciless!


Welcome back to Friday Night Fights: Bad Boys, where the bad guys score villainous victories against our heroes. During Spacebooger's previous contests, I had established a little ritual, in that after each time I won a round, I followed up in the next week fight by posting a Legion of Super Heroes-related entry in the next round. Well, my previous week's Lex Luthor entry won Round 2, so, in keeping with our "Bad Boys" theme, my entry for Round 3 will spotlight one of the Legion's most powerful arch-nemeses, Mordru the Merciless.

But he's not fighting the Legion or Superboy in tonight's battle. Instead, he's going up against the Justice Society of America in JSA#3 by James Robinson, Steve Sadowski, and Michael Bair. (This was back when pitting the JSA against Mordru was actually an original idea.) Here, a young Mordru is trying to gain control of the body and powers of the new Dr. Fate.

Here, he faces off against the JSA inside Fate's mystic tower.....

...and completely owns them.

What I find impressive about Mordru here is how he isn't content with just pointing his hands at the JLA and, say, turning them into frogs. He's not afraid to get physical.

He even beats Atom-Smasher at his own game.

They don't call him "The Dark Lord" for nothing!

Friday Night Fights: Bad Boys - Round 2: Bare-Knuckle Brawling!


Welcome to Friday Night Fights: Bad Boys, where the villains get the upper hand. For Round 2, I'm focusing on one of comicdom's original Bad Boys, Lex Luthor himself. This bare-knuckled (and bare-chested) brawl comes to us from Superman#164,"The Showdown Between Luthor And Superman!", written by Edmond Hamilton and drawn by Curt Swan and George Klein. Synopsis: Luthor challenges Superman to fight him man-to-man on a planet where Supes has no powers, and Supes stupidly accepts.

Let the fight begin!

For more villainoous victories, shirtless or otherwise, go to Spacebooger's site here.

The Fourth Annual 30-Second Recap Contest!

I keep trying to get out, but this guy keeps pulling me back in. This time I'll be recapping the history of our favorite Emerald Gladiator:

The History of Hal Jordan in 30 Seconds

Friday Night Fights: Bad Boys! - Round 1: Cyberpunked!

Tonight, we celebrate the first day of the new year with the first round of Friday Night Fights: Bad Boys! , where our spotlight is on the bad guys turning the tables on our heroes. Our host, Spacebooger, has decreed that each entry must consist of one consecutive fight scene culminating in a Villainous Victory.

Tonight's entry comes from Superman#107 by Dan Jurgens, Ron Frenz, and Joe Rubinstein. Since kicking around the Nineties Superboy proved so popular in the previous competition, I thought I'd see if lightning could strike twice. But in the Sea King's place, we have Hank Henshaw, the Cyborg Superman. And not only is he kicking around the Boy of Steel, but he's also thrashing fellow Super-Team members Steel and Supergirl for good measure.

Spacebooger says "Bad Robot!"